Do you remember what you were stressing over around this time last year?
Considering I feel like something is frequently on my mind we need to hurdle over, I decided to look back through my written record of thoughts and prayers I journaled a year ago.
Turns out we were:
1. Evicting tenants—which took 3 1/2 weeks too long.
2. Fixing up our trashed rental with new drywall, carpet, doors and paint, with no budget
3. Hiring 3 different exterminators to rid our rental of a German cockroach and flea infestations
4. Waiving the first month’s rent for our new tenants since the bug problem lingered longer than expected. The poor people were sleeping in their van.
5. Coping with the sudden loss of my father-in-law, and loving on my mother-in-law (who moved down from British Columbia to live with us during this devastating season).
6. Stressing over finishing the final chapters of the book to hit my deadline (ahhhh!).
7. Trying to track down my doctors to get approval to either quote them or verify my medical records for the book.
8. A month later, questioning why some of the content was being cut from the book—something I didn’t understand at the time.
9. Waking each morning to the only thing separating our master bath from our master bedroom: a dingy, vinyl shower curtain, no wall (long story. I’ll blog about this one day).
10. Living with yellow well water we couldn’t figure out how to fix (did I mention we had recently bought a 1950s fixer-upper after relocating from living in the middle of a cancer cluster neighborhood?)
I love my $4.99 T.J. Maxx journal.
It reminds me of the stuff I forget, but worried so much over.
The eviction I anguished about was forgotten 12 months later. More than a mess, the tension welled up inside as I relived that nightmare experience, reading page after page of my entries. Financially strained, spread thin and living with 7 people sharing one shower that sprinkled yellowish water.
Yet somehow—God showed up and provided everything we needed.
Why do I waste time fretting over these things?
Problems. Will. Pass.
They always do.
What I am thinking about now I probably won’t be thinking about next October/November/December. Enjoy today for what it is, especially during this busy time of year. A new day, a new memory, and the hope that this situation will be a record–a reminder–for next year to not worry about tomorrow.
“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
“Feels like it’s been a series of hard days. I shouldn’t be surprised, really. My deadline is here–right around the corner and things are hitting the fan. The eviction & cleaning the house & recarpeting & hiring an exterminator & finding new tenants have taken a toil on me emotionally. Looks like we have someone, but we’ll know for sure in a couple of days. Lord most of all–I’d really, really like the backing of my doctors. Will you please send someone forward who can vouch for the stuff we went through? I’m not sure why I need this–but validation (of what’s written in my medical records) would be huge. Feels like your sifting me again–stretching me–which probably means you’re preparing me for something. Help me, Lord, to focus on the kids & my husband & to write. Please help me to be prepared with my questions for Dr. Schwartz. Thank you for Colleen and Brett’s friendship.
Tina (mother-in-law) is reading (the book) now. I pray she likes it. I pray the world hears of your miracles. I pray I’m not making anything up. I’m really trying hard to stick to medical records. Please send a Christian doctor my way that will help verify some things (I don’t understand in my charts). Thank you for my husband. He is such a hard worker….Please help me to feel some relief soon. Thank you for friends. It’s so so dumb, but I just need to hear someone say they like the book–someone who doesn’t know me.”