{June 26, 2015}
I stared at the nurse as he asked me again, “Dabney, do you know what year it is?” The whites of his eyes grew larger each time he raised his eyebrows, like he was begging me to say something, anything.
My stare shifted around the sterile holding room.
Where am I?
I saw the nurse raise his dark skinned hand closer to my face as he snap, snap, snapped his fingers, trying to get my attention.
I blinked.
He asked again, “The year, Dabney. Do you remember what year it is?”
I knew what he was saying, but there was nothing in my mind that triggered an answer. All I knew was that I was in an over-sized room with curtains dividing me from my neighbors, other patients I assumed. But none of them were talking.
I noticed the curtains boxed my bed in on three sides; the only opening faced what appeared to be a nurses’ station. Yet everyone walked around so solemnly. No smiles. No laughter. Just whispers and stares.
Crouching down closer to my level, my nurse repeated, “Can you hear me? Dabney?”
My eyes shifted toward his. Why am I in here? Why is my husband standing by just watching me? Did he admit me? My eyes darted to Jason. One arm crossed in front of his chest, and the other gripped his chin. Why does Jason looked so concerned?
“Dabney, if you understand what I’m saying, just nod.”
And I did. But he wanted more than I could give. I could see by the longing in his face.
{June, 29, 2105}
My husband told me that for four days I could not remember simple facts like my children’s names or birth dates or certainly not the year we were living in. I couldn’t lie flat, or rest on my side and the only pain medicine administered was Tylenol.
“Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.’ Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky” Philippians 2:14&15.
We all could use some extra stars in the sky, don’t you think?
Awesome. Thank you Dabney for you transparency.
I think I have a case of the let-everything-fly-no-matter-what-a-fool-you-look-like syndrome. 😉 Marsha, you always make me smile. God bless you.
Dear DabberDoo! thank you for being vulnerable enough to remind us all of the REALNESS of real life and the Overwhelming Kindness of God that we sometimes fail to focus on! I am SO happy that God keeps on providing and repairing and healing you and your world. I needed the reminder today and I’m betting others do too. Thank you again and just keep walking one foot in front of the other holding on to Jesus’ Hand! HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH AND IT SHOWS! He just shines right through you. BIG Hugs and blessings for Thanksgiving to you and yours -Paula
Ok, this made me cry Paula. 🙂 God bless you!!!! xoxo
Full of emotions
Tears
I love it! We sure do need these reminders in life to see how blessed we are that we are! Thanks Dabney!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo Sending lots of love, friend.
Ok, I’m so with you and have been recently reminded that I complain too. Too much. So thank you for your honesty and another great reminder. Sometimes when life is challenging on an ongoing basis, I think we get into the habit of seeing the challenges (real as they are) and forget the biggest picture as well as all the little things God blesses us with in the midst of the challenge. At least I do. Thanking God for your testimony of amazing God interventions. Happy Thanksgiving!
So True! Often songs reminding me of God’s greatness come to my mind unbidden when I am stressed to the max…little Holy Spirit reminders that He is Greater!
I always love your posts. And I’m sure you were “complaining” with a smile. Xo
Hi Dabney, your life is a star shining brightly for others lost in the darkness of sickness and trials. Thank you for being so honest and open. God bless.
I am grateful that my adult children belong to Jesus so He is there to guide them when they face the complexities and challenges of life in this world
That was simply awesome! Thank you!!