{I’ll explain the “gray-shirt guy” at the end.}
I woke this morning with a crazy desire to reread a funny “I see you…” card a friend had slipped me last night at a Palm Beach Women’s Network event. As I pulled it out while sipping my coffee, I giggled and began thinking of the other women at my table I wanted to send a quick text to thank them for their vulnerability last night.
That’s when it hit me.
I loved this feeling deep in my soul that I don’t often wake with, because I’m a mom filled with mom obligations, which I love, but I rarely make time to connect with other women. I feel busy from driving kiddos to volleyball/dance/robotics every night of the week. Don’t get me wrong. Being a parent is my favorite job, but last night I realized that I don’t make enough time for me. Even getting in my minivan to drive to this amazing event, I imagined vegging on the couch instead of chatting away with like-minded friends. Thankfully, I offered to volunteer for the night and ended up greeting guests and hosting a table.
Our speaker was none other than the amazing Amy Oliver. For those of you who aren’t from this area, her and her husband are two of the most sought-after Christian counselors in Palm Beach County. As Amy shared thought-provoking tips on how to foster connectedness in our relationships, I jotted down notes that spoke to me, and even winced at some of the characteristics of a destructive friendship that hit a little too close to home.
She started with these few tips:
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Then she shared the characteristics of a connected relationship:
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And here the characteristics of a destructive friendship:
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I needed these reminders. And honestly, I was a little shocked by the first point that social media breeds isolation and disconnection. Ack. This means I need to step out of my comfort zone and intentionally reach out to others.
But you guys, one of the best things she shared was that if you’re in a season where you feel like you have not found that close friend you can confide in, try to become her. Be the woman who reaches out and is safe and listens and candidly offers input. Pray for wisdom. Then wait for those opportunities to be her first.
What about you? How would you respond to these questions?
PS Funny story from the “I see you” card above. You know you’ve found a new sweet friend when they effortlessly save you from a kind, older gentleman who wants to chat away well past the three-minute “hello, how are you” conversation. This gray-haired guy popped by the theatre to purchase tickets for an upcoming event while I was greeting at the front door. I was raised Southern Baptist sweet, so I, of course, kindly chatted with him while he waited. But then after he got his tickets, he kept talking. And I nodded away until he asked what part of the county I lived. Second grade stranger danger bells went off in my head, and I was able to sneak away to the check-in table and ask a new-ish friend if she’d pretend to talk with me. She played along beautifully, smiling and chatting randomly for a few minutes. Then I asked if the gray-shirt guy was still by the front door. She discreetly nodded. I then asked if she could escort me back into the event. That’s when I ditched my door greeting duty, and chuckled away with her once we were inside. Whew. I’m sure this guy was just buying tickets for a show and possibly bored, but after three minutes of generic conversation, my “this-is-getting-uncomfortable” meter went off. Thank you, sweet Kathryn, for saving me! I hope you got a good laugh out of this. Let’s just say I think I’m sure I’ve been fired as a greeter for any future events. Five-foot, vertically challenged blondes can be skittish this way. ; )
I have enjoyed your blog for many years now, but this is the first time I’ve commented. This post is thought-provoking; I want to “be her first”! 🙂
I’m so very thankful you shared your input! I needed all of these reminders, too. I think ever woman does. And thank you also for taking the time to read this. I went back and forth on whether or not to share what I learned, but then realized that if Amy’s points blessed me, maybe they will bless someone else, too. Again, thank you for taking a minute to comment. Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever reads what is typed. ; )